Well........!

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Author Message Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 315 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 04:17 pm:    With all the "word" problems, legal gyrations, contractors' games, and other serious distractions-- Have you laughed lately? I mean really laughed? Well........have you? Call me, I got 2 great names of folks that wil keep you in stitches!! Oh, come on, so I'm irreverent and frivilous-- why not, for just this moment? David Axt, AIA, CCS, CSI Senior Member Username: david_axt Post Number: 611 Registered: 03-2002 Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 05:45 pm:    Ralph I am glad that you broached the subject, but it dawned on me the other day that architects have no (or very little) sense of humor. There a pretty uptight bunch and I can't figure out why. Maybe because in order to have a good sense of humor you have to be able to laugh at yourself....and architects have way too much ego to laugh at themselves! Brett M. Wilbur CSI, CDT, AIA Senior Member Username: brett Post Number: 104 Registered: 12-2004 Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 05:45 pm:    Yep, just did. Here's a story: I just got off the phone with one of the Architects here. He wanted to know how to describe masonry sealer on the drawings. So, I said, just say "Apply masonry sealer" with an arrow. Well he wanted to say "Apply masonry sealer, RE: Specs". Ha, ha, I laughed, and launched in to my rhetoric concerning the complementary nature of drawings and specifications, and the need to say it once, and how redundant it is to say RE: Specs, blah, blah, blah. Drives me nuts. Anyway, he wants to tell me a story, it goes like this: A man walks in to a bar, sits down at the bar by himself and orders a drink. He's a had few drinks, minding his own business, when out of nowhere, this tiny voice says "Nice tie!". The man looks around, doesn't see anyone, so he orders another drink. A few minutes later he hears another tiny voice, which says "Nice hair!" Again, he starts getting nervous. This goes on for a while until finally he can't stand it anymore, he's really about to freak out. He calls the bartender over, and tells him about this voice, you know, “oh my goodness, I'm hearing voices”, like that. The bartender asks him what the voices are saying. The guy tells him, they are saying things like "Nice hair, Nice smile, things like that". The bartender says, oh nothing to worry about, that's just the peanuts... "They're complimentary!". Get it, complementary, complimentary? Go with it, go with it… Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 316 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 07:14 am:    Thanks, Brett-- now I have 3 names!!!! Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 317 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 07:33 am:    You know we really can include mottos, creeds, and cartoons in our laugh provoking quest. Motto- IT IS NEITHER CRIMINAL NOR SINFUL TO FINISH THE SPECS, EARLY! Send me an e-mail for a really good specs cartoon. Maybe we need to show that the combination of specs and humor is not a mutually exclusive oxymoron! Randall T. Bailey, PE, CSI, CCS, LEED AP Advanced Member Username: baileyr Post Number: 5 Registered: 07-2005 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 08:04 am:    Ralph, how would one determine your e-mail address from the post, to send you an e-mail for a really good specs cartoon? Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 318 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 09:42 am:    Well I could post it here [preferred method I guess] or you could go on the Member Search on the CSI web site-- oh, the heck with it-- rliebing@hixson-inc.com Jerome J. Lazar, RA, CCS, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: lazarcitec Post Number: 194 Registered: 05-2003 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 10:48 pm:    laughter is still the best medicine... Jerome J. Lazar, RA, CCS, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: lazarcitec Post Number: 195 Registered: 05-2003 Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 10:56 pm:    How about a Joke/Funny Story Thread?? there should be a thread for architecture, specs, construction, etc. related jokes, stories, cartoons, etc., I file what I can, when I get them, esp. the clean ones and semi-clean ones, I find that a good joke is still the best way to break the ice and esp. diffuse a tense situation...and sometimes searching on google for a joke can take much too much time...how about it Colin? in fact here is one I heard/read today, and even though I don't play golf, many of my clients & colleagues do so I've already sent it to a few and they in turn have sent me back a ha ha or two...laughter will always remain the best medicine...if only it could cure cancer: Golfing On Sunday One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, "Are you really going to let him get away with this?" "No, I guess not," says God. The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one. Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, "Why did you let him do that?" To this God says, "Who's he going to tell?" Helaine K. (Holly) Robinson CSI CCS CCCA Senior Member Username: hollyrob Post Number: 210 Registered: 07-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 05:27 am:    Jerome, that's an interesting variant of the "rabbi golfing on Yom Kippur" joke! Jerome J. Lazar, RA, CCS, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: lazarcitec Post Number: 197 Registered: 05-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 05:41 am:    Helaine...5:27am - I'm up to catch a flight, why pray tell is any one else up at this hour - unless you are on the west coast, in that case I'll be there later today...Big Sur here I come, its time for some R/R. Helaine K. (Holly) Robinson CSI CCS CCCA Senior Member Username: hollyrob Post Number: 211 Registered: 07-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 05:47 am:    Are you ready? Morning minyan at 7 am. Jerome J. Lazar, RA, CCS, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: lazarcitec Post Number: 198 Registered: 05-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 05:58 am:    I'm gone now...later all. Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 319 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 07:53 am:    Pastor runs into a church member who is also a professional baseball player. "Haven't seen you in church lately", says the Pastor. "Well, i"m kinda busy on Sundays", comes the reply "Well, Sunday is my busy day too, but I'm in the right field", says the Pastor as little irritated. "Yea, me, too", says the member/player. "Ain't that sun terrible out there"? Lynn Javoroski CSI CCS LEED AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 305 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 09:19 am:    Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov, scientist and writer (1920-92) Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 320 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 09:50 am:    And permit me, Lynn-- ".....politics, philosophy, literature, and SPEC WRITING than.....' Apologies to Mr. Asimov Ron Beard CCS Senior Member Username: rm_beard_ccs Post Number: 106 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 02:42 pm:    Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day...... - - - - - - - - There is a mute specifier who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind specifier who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? > > > He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses." If you got this wrong - please turn off your computer and call it a day. I've got mine shutting down right now. George A. Everding, AIA, CSI, CCS, CCCA Senior Member Username: geverding Post Number: 119 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 02:49 pm:    "A nod's as good as a wink to a blind specifier." (Sorry, couldn't resist) Ronald L. Geren, RA, CSI, CCS, CCCA, MAI Senior Member Username: specman Post Number: 214 Registered: 03-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 03:04 pm:    Actually, he would say: "I'd like to buy a pair of sunglasses, Raybans or suitable substitute." Ronald L. Geren, RA, CSI, CCS, CCCA, MAI Senior Member Username: specman Post Number: 215 Registered: 03-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 03:08 pm:    Correction, make that... "Approved" substitute. Lynn Javoroski CSI CCS LEED AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 306 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 03:20 pm:    "Submit for approval in accordance with requirements." Ralph Liebing, RA, CSI Senior Member Username: rliebing Post Number: 321 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 03:51 pm:    But as the clerk explains the features and attributes of the proposed new eye wear, the customer would not say, " I..........." Come on, you get it! Anonymous   Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 04:28 pm:    "I see, said the blind man to his deaf son, as he picked up his hammer and saw..." Brett M. Wilbur CSI, CDT, AIA Senior Member Username: brett Post Number: 105 Registered: 12-2004 Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 02:33 pm:    A little specifier humor for a Friday: After a bad day at the office putting up with Architects, a dishevelled specifier walks into a bar, sits down, orders a tall beer and a shot of bourbon. The barkeep looks at him, sees that he is distraught and says to him "you look like a twisted rope"...the man replies, "nope, I'm aaaaaafraid not". (get it?, a frayed knot) OK, here's another: A termite walks into a bar and says "hey, where's the bartender?" (assume it is a wood bar, then you'll get it) P.S. you ever notice, I have a theme to all my jokes? They all occur in a bar. Hmmm.. Randall L. Cox Senior Member Username: randy_cox Post Number: 22 Registered: 04-2004 Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 05:42 pm:    I've been struggling between phone calls to find a shower that meet accessibility requirements for a project when I came across the following. "... although some movies & comics show a shower or tub enclosure filled nearly to the top with water (6 feet deep perhaps), these are comic situations and we recommend that you don't try this with a (MFGR NAME HERE) Shower Enclosure.: Dale Hurttgam, NCARB, AIA New member Username: dwhurttgam Post Number: 1 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Monday, February 27, 2006 - 06:10 pm:    Here's one - it's from Dilbert, so you need to use your imagination for the cartoon that goes with it. Dilbert and Tom are chatting. Dilbert: As usual, I worked until midnight last night. Tom: Well, at least you made some extra money. Dilbert: I don't get paid for overtime. Tom: Well, at least it was important work. Dilbert: Not really. My boss made me revise my powerpoint presentation, but the revisions made it worse. Tom: Well, at least you're prepared for your meeting. Dilbert: It was cancelled, but that's okay because the project isn't funded anyway. Tom: So let me get this straight - you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist? Dilbert: Yup. Tom: Oh.......You must be an Architect! What a good use for my first post! Ron Beard CCS Senior Member Username: rm_beard_ccs Post Number: 108 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Monday, February 27, 2006 - 10:43 pm:    Dale: It looks like you're batting 1000% to date. Ron