English is a crazy language

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Author Message John Regener, AIA, CCS, CCCA, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: john_regener Post Number: 707 Registered: 04-2002 Posted on Monday, August 04, 2014 - 12:45 pm:    Excerpted from “English is a Crazy Language” by Richard Lederer - In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway? - In what other language do people play at a recital and recite at a play? - Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall? - Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo? - Why does a man get a hernia and a woman a hysterectomy? - Why do we pack suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase? - Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess? - Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper? - Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists? - Why -- in our crazy language -- can your nose run and your feet smell? Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane: - In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand? - Why do they call them apartments when they're all together? - Why do we call them buildings, when they're already built? - Why it is called a TV set when you get only one? - Why is phonetic not spelled phonetically? - Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic? - Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is? - Why is the word abbreviation so long? - Why is diminutive so undiminutive? - Why does the word monosyllabic consist of five syllables? - Why is there no synonym for synonym or thesaurus? - And why, pray tell, does lisp have an s in it? English is crazy. Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEED® AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1869 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 02:42 pm:    I love his book, his way of thinking, his love of English. louis.medcalf (Unregistered Guest) Unregistered guest Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 04:20 pm:    Personally, I think 'precast concrete' is the gray soupy stuff in the truck. ;-> louis.medcalf (Unregistered Guest) Unregistered guest Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 04:19 pm:    To say nothing of goofy spelling. Remember G.B. Shaw's alternative spelling of 'fish' as 'ghoti'? gh as in enough (already) o as in women ti as in nation ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 811 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 04:44 pm:    A lot of those were made popular by the comedian Gallagher. Louis, if rough is 'ruff' and tough is 'tuff', why isn't dough 'duff'? Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEED® AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1870 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 05:09 pm:    I use the "ghoti" example a lot to illustrate our language. Our main problem is, of course, that American is made up from a host of other languages. We all know a bit of German, French, Spanish, Greek, Chinese, etc., because there are words from these languages in ours. There are languages that don't allow infiltrations (like French), but we welcome and embrace them. It makes it more fun and more challenging. John Regener, AIA, CCS, CCCA, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: john_regener Post Number: 708 Registered: 04-2002 Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2014 - 08:00 pm:    How about the commonly mis-used "poured in place concrete". I thought concrete is placed. And cast-in-place is contrasted by precast. How does one walk on "cement" paving. Don't your shoes stick? And, on the West Coast, do concrete masonry units contain cinders (cinder block)? TV newscasters think so. The issue is imprecision in language. Imagine the medical community talkin 'bout the shinbone connected to the knee bone, the knee bone connected to the thigh bone. As Emo Phillips said: "Eschew Obsfucation!" Steven Bruneel, AIA, CSI-CDT, LEED-AP, EDAC Senior Member Username: redseca2 Post Number: 451 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Wednesday, August 06, 2014 - 12:55 pm:    English has become the primary language used in European Union (EU) official documents. This has resulted in many English words evolving into different meanings than their original in English speaking countries. It will be interesting to see if the English speaking countries gradually shift to match the EU usage, or if the EU evolves to better match The British Commonwealth, US and other English speaking countries. To get a sense of these shifts, the EU provides a handy English to English dictionary here: http://ec.europa.eu/translation/english/guidelines/documents/misused_english_terminology_eu_publications_en.pdf Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEED® AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1873 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Wednesday, August 06, 2014 - 02:29 pm:    Thanks, Steven, that's a useful publication. Can't wait to get it home - should make for great bedtime reading (grin). Robert E. Woodburn, AIA, CSI, CCS, CCCA Senior Member Username: bob_woodburn Post Number: 102 Registered: 11-2010 Posted on Wednesday, August 06, 2014 - 03:08 pm:    It appears to be fascinating, but that's coming from a guy who enjoys reading usage dictionaries and books like "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" (the grammar treatise). From the brief excerpts I read, it appears to have been written with a subtle sense of humor--contributed perhaps by the British editors. It reminds one of Churchill's famous remarks to the effect that the US and Britain were "two great peoples, separated (or divided) by a common language"; now it appears that English may be serving a similar role in the EU. Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEED® AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1875 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Wednesday, August 06, 2014 - 03:16 pm:    We had breakfast one morning in an Irish B&B with 2 other couples: one from the Midlands (UK), and one from Australia. We were four separated by a common language - the Irish host, us, and the two other couples. We learned to speak a little clearer and more slowly and to either eliminate slang or explain it. Quite fun! Richard L Matteo, AIA, CSI, CCS Senior Member Username: rlmat Post Number: 655 Registered: 10-2003 Posted on Friday, August 08, 2014 - 12:01 am:    The spec writer that I first learned under had a favorite saying about cement vs concrete, when people referred to things like "cement" paving. Cement was the powder that when mixed with water, sand, and aggregate became concrete. George A. Everding, AIA, CSI, CCS, CCCA Senior Member Username: geverding Post Number: 760 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Friday, August 08, 2014 - 12:16 pm:    It's okay to use "cement" when you mean "concrete", but only if your name is Jethro or Elly May, and you're speaking to your Granny or your Uncle Jed. Ron Beard CCS Senior Member Username: rm_beard_ccs Post Number: 417 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 12:12 am:    Cement vs concrete Masonary vs masonry "Fast is good, but accurate is better." .............Wyatt Earp J. Peter Jordan Senior Member Username: jpjordan Post Number: 754 Registered: 05-2004 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 07:21 am:    Cement is a wort and is a construction material used in concrete, mortar, and grout. Cement can also describe an adhesive. Masonry is not a word. Have you ever considered that in masonry construction we see mortar joints and grout is hidden while in tile construction, we see grout joints while the mortar is concealed. Ellis C. Whitby, PE, CSI, AIA, LEED® AP Senior Member Username: ecwhitby Post Number: 236 Registered: 03-2003 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 09:35 am:    “Masonry is not a word”? http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/masonry?s=t ma•son•ry &#712;me&#618; s&#601;n riShow Spelled [mey-suh n-ree] Show IPA noun, plural ma•son•ries. 1. the craft or occupation of a mason. 2. work constructed by a mason, especially stonework: the crumbling masonry of ancient walls. 3. ( initial capital letter ) Freemasonry. ________________________________________ Origin: 1325–75; Middle English masonerie < Middle French maçonnerie. See mason, -ery J. Peter Jordan Senior Member Username: jpjordan Post Number: 755 Registered: 05-2004 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 10:30 am:    Sorry, masonary is not a word (did my iPad autocorrect?). Ron Beard CCS Senior Member Username: rm_beard_ccs Post Number: 419 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 11:28 am:    What do you mean masonary ain't no word? It can be heard on every Job Site nearly every day. "Fast is good, but accurate is better." .............Wyatt Earp Ellis C. Whitby, PE, CSI, AIA, LEED® AP Senior Member Username: ecwhitby Post Number: 237 Registered: 03-2003 Posted on Monday, August 11, 2014 - 01:13 pm:    JPJ: I "love" autocorrect, except that with technical words it is often wrong. Takes time to build the custom dictionary. I try to import the one I have been assembling for the last few decades. Unfortunately most of my misspelling is natural talent: I have no one and nothing to blame in most cases. David J. Wyatt, CDT Senior Member Username: david_j_wyatt_cdt Post Number: 89 Registered: 03-2011 Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2014 - 09:40 am:    If we let "masonary" persist, we'll have to let "carpentary" in, which would be hell. Some well-meaning but misguided grammar buffs I know try correcting me when I use "irrespective," which is a perfectly beautiful word. Then I have to remind them that "irregardless" is the offending word they are thinking of. It never ends.