English?

Log Out | Topics | Search Moderators | Register | Edit Profile

Author Message John Regener, AIA, CCS, CCCA, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: john_regener Post Number: 556 Registered: 04-2002 Posted on Wednesday, June 06, 2012 - 09:15 pm:    ENGLISH? Let's face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? James M. Sandoz, AIA, CSI, CCS, CCCA, LEED AP Senior Member Username: jsandoz Post Number: 116 Registered: 06-2005 Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2012 - 09:29 am:    Ah, John, how you make me miss George Carlin. Another treat for the amature linguist is Strictly Speaking by the late Edwin Newman. Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1494 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2012 - 10:13 am:    Or Richard Lederer: "an American author, speaker, and teacher best known for his books on word play and the English language and his use of oxymorons". His works include "Anguished English", "Get Thee to a Punnery" and "Sleeping Dogs Don't Lay". He also started (or contributed to) S.P.E.L.L. - the Society for the Preservation of English Language and Literature - of which I am a member. (He's also the father of Howard Lederer and Annie Duke, both world-renowned poker players). ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 265 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2012 - 08:50 pm:    I am truly whelmed. May I suggest that you consider getting a free subscription to AWAD, A Word A Day, at http://wordsmith.org/awad/? Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1495 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Friday, June 08, 2012 - 09:18 am:    Have one already! That's a fun one, too...although I'm not sure I agree with some of the word definitions for this weeks theme...seems he's pushing a little too much for contrast. Don Harris CSI, CCS, CCCA, AIA Senior Member Username: don_harris Post Number: 263 Registered: 03-2003 Posted on Friday, June 08, 2012 - 11:04 am:    Well after all of this, I'm going to unpark my car from the driveway and take a drive on the parkway. Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1498 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Friday, June 08, 2012 - 11:11 am:    Oh, and for AWAD, some payment is appreciated. He does a great job, so it's worth a small amount each year to me. I grew up in NYC where on Long Island we had a couple of parkways, named for their park-like surroundings, including bike trails. They are in stark contrast to the LIE, which is one of the more ugly drives in the country (or was when I left in 1970). Richard L Matteo, AIA, CSI, CCS Senior Member Username: rlmat Post Number: 511 Registered: 10-2003 Posted on Friday, June 08, 2012 - 07:21 pm:    The last time I was on Long island (2009), I was going from JFK to Woodbury. Whatever road I was on, it was still ugly. John Bunzick, CCS, CCCA, LEED AP Senior Member Username: bunzick Post Number: 1408 Registered: 03-2002 Posted on Monday, June 11, 2012 - 11:50 am:    The parkways were usually built in the 1930s, when there was much more open space around them. Then there are the gruntled employees - happy to be there and enjoy their work. ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 277 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 12:48 pm:    yesterday evening at the Boston CSI meeting, Mark Kalin was talking about Specifiction (how's that for a great term?). He mentioned a project where he was asked to specify a one-stop elevator which I suppose is just be a room with plastic laminate walls, a railing, an automatic door, and maybe a call station. Kind of like a residence on Star Trek. Liz O'Sullivan Senior Member Username: liz_osullivan Post Number: 58 Registered: 10-2011 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:05 pm:    Awesome! Dave Metzger Senior Member Username: davemetzger Post Number: 434 Registered: 07-2001 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:10 pm:    Would the occupants of that building have to go up the down staircase to get to that one stop? ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 278 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:12 pm:    Hi Dave. I remember that book. What a classic. Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1505 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:41 pm:    Sounds like an Escher elevator to me... Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1506 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:47 pm:    Oh, and Richard, that would have been mostly the Belt Parkway and the Southern State Parkway...and then some other road to get north across the Island out near Bethpage. You drove past a couple of areas near where I grew up and Levittown, too. ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 279 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 01:49 pm:    Lynn, I was always impressed with the Belt Parkway. It seemed that every time a car broke down on the Belt it never took more than a half hour before it was stripped down to its frame. That goes back to the 70's. These folks were into recycling before it was popular! Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1507 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 02:01 pm:    Ken, that was true no matter where you were in the city and some of the areas further out, too. I dated a guy in high school who swore he could strip a car in under 20 minutes...and he was a nice kid - in school (automotive shop, of course) and liked my parents! And that was reciprocated; after we broke up, he used to visit my parents. ken hercenberg Senior Member Username: khercenberg Post Number: 281 Registered: 12-2006 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 03:55 pm:    Did they still have their cars after he left? Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1508 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 04:00 pm:    Oh, yeah. In fact, Nick was riding a bicycle at the time, having had his license suspended for parking tickets (the glove box of his car was full of nothing but parking tickets). He was an interesting boyfriend. Alan Mays, AIA Senior Member Username: amays Post Number: 95 Registered: 02-2003 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 04:25 pm:    Lynn, hopefully your parents never had to go visit him (in the county jail)! LOL! Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1509 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 04:35 pm:    Nope, he had "given himself up" - just walked into the police station one day with all the tickets, paid the fines and "did his time" sans auto (in New York, with all the public transportation available, it wasn't that much of a hardship; my folks didn't live in the city by then, but in Nassau County, hence the bicycle). He really was a sweet guy and I hope his life turned out to hold all the happiness he deserved. Lisa Goodwin Robbins, RA, CCS, LEED ap Senior Member Username: lgoodrob Post Number: 183 Registered: 08-2004 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 05:05 pm:    Yes, someone asked us for a one stop elevator again last week. We just attract the most imaginative clients! My first time at the Whitney Biennial, mid-1980s, there was an exhibit which was exactly that, a one stop elevator in the middle of the gallery. We walked in to an elevator cab: the doors closed; some mechanical humming ensued; the doors opened again; and we all walked out. Early performance art? - Drawings, I don't need no stinking Drawings! Lynn Javoroski FCSI CCS LEEDŽ AP SCIP Affiliate Senior Member Username: lynn_javoroski Post Number: 1511 Registered: 07-2002 Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 - 05:26 pm:    Are you sure you walked out into the same place in the universe? Are you sure that wasn't a Tardis? John Regener, AIA, CCS, CCCA, CSI, SCIP Senior Member Username: john_regener Post Number: 558 Registered: 04-2002 Posted on Friday, June 15, 2012 - 01:41 pm:    A hillbilly family is visiting a big city for the first time. The father and son are in the hotel lobby when they spot some fancy metal doors on a wall. "What're them, Paw?" The boy asks. "I don't know," said the father. "I ain't never done see nothin' like them in my whole entire life" Seconds later an old frail woman walks into the hotel and hobbles across the lobby to the elevator doors. She presses the call button with her cane, waits for the doors to open and gets in. The doors close. The father and son are amazed by this contraption and continue to watch. They hear a ping sound and the doors open. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde. The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw!"